craigslist

Pittsburgh band is sadly selling our baby/mobile bar/party bus/p*ssy wagon/...and also I guess it will store your music equipment as your TOUR THE NATION rocking the country with FACE MELTING SOLOS and whatever else your crap lead singer brings (fur coats, skeleton mic stand, etc)...

The good:

- This is the best van ever. It runs better and faster than Usain Bolt. Trust me.
- It has.. and listen to this.. 447,310 miles on it. For real. FOR REAL. LISTEN. FOR REAL.
- It's a used baptist church van. When you're driving around there's a lot you can do with this tidbit. People will trust you. They'll think you're a gat damn saint. Like Dorothy Mantooth.
- It has all the seats to carry 15 people in it. Can you imagine what & where you can do with 15 people? Hell, take it dahn tha sath siide and pick up 14 girls by yourself. F IT.
- It's got a CD player and an AUX input so you can hook your iPod/iPad/iPhone up to it. Anything with an "i" - I don't care. Hook that sh!t up.
- It's registered, it's ALMOST LEGAL.

The bad:

-Which brings us to the bad-- it's not inspected.

What it needs:

- some brakes
- maybe some rust recovery help.

Quirks:

The back door opens like a champ. It opens so well it almost falls off. Pretty cool when you're at a gas station and some old dude says "Hey, you better fix that door" 100 times a day. Trust me, you'll come up with some pretty cool responses to that, depending on how much you just drank from your 15 passenger mobile bar. The Onorato tax doesn't apply to this baby.

This van's target audience is:

- bands
- bands
- rapists
- bands
- people who want to have fun in their lives
- people who like to go to summer concerts at PNC park and be the coolest people there

So... what do you say? You want to pick this thing up?
Come see me. Email me.

Let's do this.